Dance

When I went to pick Audrey up from dance this week, I asked her teachers how she is doing. I wanted their opinion on whether or not I should let Audrey continue. They say she really doesn't dance, but she is going around the floor with the other girls. They think I should let her stay. I have been leaning that way. I think it will be a good experience for her. I also think if I let her quit, she'll start to learn she can quit something that is hard. So, I'll let her keep going. I hope that she'll start at least dancing at home. I think it would be great if she would dance in class. I would be shocked and amazed if she dances in a recital. We'll see. For now, I guess I'm hoping she'll start opening up and becoming more confident.

Missed a day

I had one of THOSE mornings this morning. Last night was not a good night. Audrey was having a hard time sleeping. I was up with her a couple of times. She ended up in our bed, because she just cried in hers. I was up with Peter. Then I was up with Marie.

I was so tired, that I slept in. Audrey was sleeping and so didn't wake me at 7:00 like she usually does. Scott had turned the monitor off, so I didn't hear Marie crying until it had been a while. I woke and realized I was running behind to get Richard to preschool. I went in the babies' and Richard's room. Remember, MARIE was the one crying.

I heard Richard say, "Mommy, Peter got black stuff on his doggy." Uh, oh. Here's what we found.

Peter was full of smiles! He didn't have a messy diaper yesterday, and I guess he decided to unload all at once. He usually has at least two messy diapers a day. You wouldn't know he had a mess from head to toe with how happy he was. I just carried him to the tub and put him in. It would happen on a morning that I'm already running behind! A day in the life of a mother, right?

Parents

So, I receive "Parents" the magazine. I get it for free. I don't pay for things if I don't have to. I can get the same information, just in a different form, on-line that they provide, and so I don't subscribe if I have to pay. I'm telling you this so you know why I read it.

I read an article about someone choosing the name for their unborn child. Seems harmless enough. Then I read that this couple PAID someone to help them! They paid $200! What?! Why in the world do they have so much money that they have no idea what to do with?! I can think of a lot of things I would spend that money on first. So, why is "Parents" putting this kind of information in their magazine?

Happy Birthday Richard!

Richard is now 5-years old! He's been counting down for quite a while now, so he was so excited when the day finally came. His preschool recognized his birthday and he came home with this crown. He loves blue, so this is perfect for him.Here he is with his favorite gift. He's been carrying it around as much as possible. He was sad I wouldn't let him bring it to bed. It's a "Mack" truck from Disney's Cars. He loves that movie and has been asking for Mack for about a year now.

He also got a basketball hoop that he's excited about. We bought it from my sister who doesn't need it anymore. So, we still need to get a new hoop and a smaller ball to fit, but he's had fun with it so far.

Here he is with the rest of his gifts.

I made a white chocolate cheesecake. He wanted a "white cake with strawberries," and so I took some liberty to guide him toward a cake recipe I wanted to try. He liked it!

I was at a Relief Society retreat the night before and morning of, so we didn't start until I got home. I made muffins before I left so he could have a nicer breakfast than our typical cold cereal and yogurt. We met family at McDonald's for lunch. That was Richard's restaurant of choice. After we let him play for a while, we went back to the house for cake and presents. We then went miniature golfing. He's wanted to do this for months and I promised him we could go on his birthday. He loved it.

We love Richard! He's very smart. He's got a tender side, though he can be quite spazzy and excitable. He's a big help and pretty obedient. He loves to go to primary and is learning the basics of the gospel. We're so glad to have him in our family!

Is this real?

Richard is learning the difference between movies and the news. I guess it's hard for a kid to distinguish when what he's watching on TV is pretend or real. On Friday night, while I was at work, Scott was watching something on the events of September 11. Richard was watching and was quite upset when he realized it was real. Scott did explain that it happened a long time ago. Richard said to Scott, "I didn't know this happened!" He can be so tenderhearted.

Well, today, while I was exercising, I was watching Transformers. I was pointing out a landmark to catch his attention, and I think it suddenly dawned on him that what we were watching might be real. I did my best to explain that this was pretend. I think it made him nervous to see something happening at a location he'd been to before and it made him wonder if it was real.

Date!

I've heard of people going on dates with their kids. Well, I've been intrigued by the idea and finally decided to do it. So, tomorrow, I go on my first date with Richard. He seems really excited about something with just me and him. We're going to McDonald's to get ice cream and then I guess he'll play. I don't know. We'll see. I told him we could do whatever he wanted. Audrey's already talking about how we go on our date in October. I figured I'll wait a couple of years before starting anything with the babies. For now, I'm thinking I'll go with one child a month and then just cycle through. I'm hoping this will help the kids get some of the one-on-one attention they need and help me build a strong relationship with them that will endure the teenage years when kids might want to veer from their parents.

Today

When I was growing up I loved the "Today" song. Is that what it's really called? No. My brother can vouch that I'm notorious for naming songs based on the word or phrase I hear a lot. It's a Neil Diamond song. I believe it's called "America." I love the lyrics. Here they are:

Far
We've been traveling far
Without a home
But not without a star

Free
Only want to be free
We huddle close
Hang on to a dream

On the boats and on the planes
They're coming to America
Never looking back again
They're coming to America

Home, don't it seem so far away
Oh, we're traveling light today
In the eye of the storm
In the eye of the storm

Home, to a new and a shiny place
Make our bed, and we'll say our grace
Freedom's light burning warm
Freedom's light burning warm

Everywhere around the world
They're coming to America
Every time that flag's unfurled
They're coming to America

Got a dream to take them there
They're coming to America
Got a dream they've come to share
They're coming to America

They're coming to America
They're coming to America
They're coming to America
They're coming to America
Today, today, today, today, today

My country 'tis of thee
Today
Sweet land of liberty
Today
Of thee I sing
Today
Of thee I sing
Today

So, why do I share a song that I'm sure most of you have never heard? Because I love our country. I love that I live in America. I love what our Founding Father's did to provide us the freedoms we have and what millions of others have done to help preserve our freedom. I wish things were politically different right now, but I don't want to get into a political discussion. I love the beauty that surrounds us.

Eight years ago, I was sitting in an 8:00 nursing class. I did not watch or listen to the TV or radio before I went. A fellow student walked in quite upset. I heard that something was happening in New York. Not until that class ended (which was a three hour class) did I start to find out what was happening. I went to devotional (which is held every Tuesday at BYU) and President Bateman explained some of what was happening. I had quite a few classes that day, and so I caught glimpses on the TV as I could. It was a surreal day. My heart hurt for the victims and their families.

Since that day, I have developed a strong sense of patriotism. I love our nation. I hope we don't let ourselves get trapped into letting go of our freedoms. I love America!

The Road Not Taken

Back when I was in 7th grade, we took roll in my English class by each saying an assigned part of a poem. I think the point was to memorize 9 poems or something by the end of the year. I was the one who marked the roll if someone was missing. The only poem I even remember doing was "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. I still have it memorized. Every once in a while, it will start going through my head.

This was the case yesterday as I hiked through the mountains near my parent's cabin. I began thinking of circumstances when I may have chosen "the road not taken." I often look at the lives of people around me and make comparisons.

I am married. They are not.

I work once a week. They have no job or work full-time.

I have children. They have none.

I have FOUR children. They have fewer and are definitely through.

I am LDS. Therefore, I have live according to a different set of morals and standards than a lot of people adhere to.

I have a bachelor's degree. They have no degree or a graduate degree of one kind or another.

Now, I understand we all have our different set of circumstances. The "roads" above are not taken willingly by some. I, of course, didn't mean to have four children by this point. However, I had always meant to have at least four children, so that's not relevant. The rest of those decisions were made very consciously. Had life progressed differently, circumstances may have necessitated different choices. There are more roads in my life. Some were quite small and I may not have noticed them as altering. Others are much more personal and too complicated to explain in as public a location as this.

Those "roads" that seem so much less taken in this world have defined who I am. I am a mother. That's what I do. My day is focused around nurturing and raising children and caring for our home. I work sparingly so I can keep my license and go back to being the breadwinner should Scott lose his job. I don't receive accolades for my work. I do much that's not noticed by many. I don't have time to go places. It's too difficult to do much when I have gone somewhere. So, we spend a lot of time close to home.

I am not lamenting my circumstances. I love what I do. I am not saying my circumstances are ideal. I wish it was easier for me to exercise and go to the grocery store. I am just thinking about the decisions in my life that were "forks in the road" and made me what I am today.

So, as I sit here at 2:00 in the afternoon, still not having taken a shower, I type my thoughts. I have two babies that need naps that are jabbering in their room. I have two others that have been running crazy, have been throwing toys, and are the cause of the babies being awake. I have gotten overly upset with them. They are just kids after all. It's my fault I let them play upstairs. They need me to be a good example.

I chose these roads. Going down these roads HAS made all the difference.

For those unfamiliar with the poem, here it is:

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Dance

I signed Audrey up for dance lessons. I'm not sure if she'll actually dance. She's pretty shy when she doesn't know people. I'm not sure if she'll get enough exposure to the teachers and kids to ever actually dance. She still won't sing and barely talks when she's in nursery. The teacher said I could have a one month trial. If things aren't working out, I'll get my costume deposit back. Audrey was NOT excited about going. She kept saying, "Mom, I don't want to go to dance." She was a pill when I tried to take her picture and ran away.When I picked her up, they said she didn't cry (I didn't expect her to), and she participated in some of what they did. They said she didn't dance (which is what I expected), but they felt it was a very good first day. Well, that's encouraging. However, I'm still not convinced she'll EVER dance. We'll see. I think she looks pretty cute in her clothes. Thanks to my sister-in-law for lending them to me.